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Flossing

Up until recently, I flossed my teeth four days a year; the two days before each of my biannual dentist appointments. Something in my head always went off 48 hours before the appointment, it's like an alarm goes off, "Oh crap, if I don't floss a lot today Dr. Page is going to know I haven't been flossing." It instills a fear in me similar to the feeling you get when your parents catch you stealing stuffed animals from your sister (don't judge me, they liked me better, they told me). Come the day of the appointment while my dentist chisels away at plaque, he get's that look on his face. It's amazing I can see a look even with half of his face covered by his mask, but I think what I see is disappointment in his eyes. Then comes the dreaded gum disease conversation...

Dr. Page: Samantha, have you been flossing regularly?

(He knows damn well I haven't been, don't corner me while I'm vulnerable in your chair.)

Me: ::gurgled:: unh uhh.

Dr. Page: I can't stress enough that if you want to still have teeth when you're older you need to be flossing daily.

(That's just manipulative.)

Me: ::spitting up:: ooh kah

Dr. Page: Yeah, it's such a shame because you have such healthy teeth, but you are ruining your gums.

(What? You didn't think tooth loss was motivation enough?)

Dr. Page: Gingivitis is very hard to reverse.

(I've seen the ad with the blue Listerine rushing full speed into someones mouth, I know not to mess around with The Gum Disease Gingivitis, that announcer sounds serious.)

After the cleaning he grabs his bag of goodies to give me and then opens a special extra drawer filled with sample floss. While putting an excessive amount in my bad he throws in, "Remember what I said, if you want those teeth, floss floss floss."

Oh, ok. Good thing you reminded me, I would have forgotten.

Needless to say, on my most recent visit I finally caved. I floss now like some kind of "adult".

Magic Pink Medicine

The Wendy's Diet