I keep setting these goals for myself and then scrambling to meet them. When I thought about getting to 58 posts for 2013 I figured I was too far behind now to even consider making it. Then this morning my inbox had my annual report for the year from Wordpress and they informed me that I have 51 posts total for the year. I'm only seven away from making it?!?! I've got this.
My original plan for the day was to get stuff done around my apartment, so now I will just write all day instead and end this year with another success. I have to.
Yesterday on my run I was supposed to do 25 minutes (a challenge I had met and overcome already two days prior) and halfway through I couldn't take it and slowed to a walk for no more than 20 seconds. I felt like I had ruined everything, no longer could I say that I had run straight through, I was a quitter. I resumed running and no more than five minutes later I slowed again to a walk, this time for about two minutes. I was alone on the trail with my dog, the river and the trees all judging me (rivers I find to be particularly judgy) so I just walked and cried. Once I had gathered myself I chose to run again and this time I promised I wouldn't stop until the timer was up. I ran through the cold, the shin splints, the exhaustion and the frustration. When I finished I still felt like I had failed.
Just after, I was on the phone with a friend relaying the events of my poor performance and he said, "So if you walked for about 2 minutes you still ran for 23; that's great."
That is great, and this morning I woke up more sore from exercise than I have in a while which says to me that I pushed myself and that's what matters. I stopped running and could have called the whole thing a wash and walked the rest of the way home but I didn't. I'm not encouraging slowing down anytime an activity gets tough, but I'm learning that if I do, what matters is what I choose to do after.
So I took a little breather from blog posts, that was my two minute walk. Today is the push and after this I only have six more posts to write before midnight...