Year Four

One of the weird things I think about constantly is that October 4th used to just be a normal day for me. I lived for 27 years before October 4th was anything I thought about other than to write it on a check or a school paper that happened to be penned on that day.… Continue reading Year Four

Year One

One year ago today I wrote about my mother's passing on day one. Looking back I see that much has changed but the missing her has not lessened. My Uncle Michael said to my Aunt, "The hole in your heart will never go away, but over time it will hurt less to touch it". I'm… Continue reading Year One

The Night Before

One year ago right now I was home. I was getting ready for bed knowing that I might wake up in a world where my mother wasn't alive. A part of me was hoping it would happen in the night so I wouldn't have to sit in hospice watching her in a state I knew… Continue reading The Night Before

Grief.

My mother died. Everyone knows. I say it to people I've only known a short while because it is so a part of my reality I feel it's impossible to hold it in. I make people uncomfortable by blurting it out in a conversation about groceries or the weather or their dog. Everything makes me… Continue reading Grief.