Brain Fart

I actually have writers block so bad this week that I have a headache. My goal is to write 30 posts in 30 days for NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month). I think so far I mostly just like saying NaBloPoMo out loud and the actual writing part hasn’t been as satisfying or doable. So what are some of the reasons I give myself for why I’m hitting this wall? I’ll go through it…

1. Good Ideas Gone Awry- The concepts I have written on my “Blog Ideas” sticky note are things that I’ve had in my head for a while now. So naturally I have over thought them, built them up and complicated them, thus making them beasts to write out. They have all started as tiny moments that made me giggle or quick ideas I jotted down optimistically. Then days or weeks or months go by and I see them on that note over and over again. Each time I am reminded of them I come up with five new points to add or a funny drawing I am incapable of creating or a pie chart that isn’t necessary. To be fair this blog could use more pie charts because they are the most delicious type of data graphing, but they apparently overwhelm me.

2. The Pressure To Impress- Even typing out the header for this paragraph I notice that impress and pressure consist of many of the same letters and sounds. Great, even that observation gave me anxiety.

3. Facebook- Damn you social media monster and your news feed. You have stolen hours of my life and get away with it because technically I am forced to blame myself for succumbing. I don’t understand the impulse to begin with, I actually hate most of what I read on Facebook, but I have this delusion that if I don’t check it my finger will no longer be on the pulse and I will cease to be relevant. Logically I think to have my metaphorical finger on “the social media pulse” would be what makes me irrelevant. Reading a book, walking my dog, writing my feelings or licking paint off a subway platform would all better me more than that idiotic mass stream of consciousness. Sometimes when I contribute to it, as I go to click “Post” I am fully aware that I just want people to know I’m at a bar in Boston on the final game of the world series so they will think I’m cool. Folks, I’m not cool. I went to Boston that night to see an Improv show with my other awesome (but not “cool”) friends and we all bitched about how hard it would be to get out of the city because of that game. I missed the first three quarters of the game in the show, then at the bar afterwords I talked to my friends and had my back to the screen for most of the rest. In the final three outs I was told that the game was about to end so I got up to pay attention and cheered when they won because everyone else was cheering. My Facebook post made it sound as though I had gone into the city to watch the game and be part of the fan base; that my life was somehow enriched by this win and that I was invested and passionate about it all. It said to everyone, “I’m a better fan than you because I’m here”. Lie. I didn’t watch even one inning of one game all season and I would never claim in person that I cared about baseball so why do I submit to the pressure to be “cool” on that site?! I have set the record straight here, I’m a nerd and on this website I am totally comfortable with that. (Warning: On social media sites I will in fact continue to post dumb things like that; I’m already in too deep).

4. I Get My Best Ideas In The Most Inconvenient Places- I will simply pose the exercise of envisioning me writing on a laptop in the following situations:

  • While driving
  • Eating at a restaurant with friends
  • During a job interview
  • In the shower
  • The middle of the woods with my dog
  • Running
  • Mid-intercourse

I realize I could simply take these flashes of inspiration and use them later but that would require me to first remember them. In order for me to do that I must doom the idea to the sticky note I spoke of above and there the potential festers and rots.

Well I wrote today. This marks the beginning of 30 straight days of posts. I promise I will do it, but I imagine if I stay on this path some of them will be real doozies.

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