I Should Have Taken the Stairs

Today, while shopping at the mall I came across a devastating sight… the escalators were stopped.

In my normal goings on for the average day I try to take the stairs. I often force myself to get in that extra little bit of cardio so I can later justify sitting on my ass, watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Sometimes I even impress myself and jog up the stairs, on those days I can squeeze in the extra time for the spunky housewives of New Jersey. I just want to make it clear here that I have no aversion to stairs; stairs are something I can commit to.

So this rant isn’t about me just being lazy. I don’t want to be in the same category as the people who see the escalator out of order and just circle the first floor. My anger towards the stopped escalator has a justified, two pronged explanation:

1.If I wasn’t expecting to have to exercise, springing it on me isn’t fair. Now I want to be on the second floor because I was just thinking of all the stores I would visit there and this wrench in the plan is a real downer. If I had chosen on my own to take the stairs in the first place I could feel proud of that, I would start to convince myself that I was on a healthy path. It might even feel so good to make the responsible choice that I would be inspired to make more healthy choices. But now you’ve even taken that from me; I am reminded that I chose to be lazy and even that didn’t work.

As punishment for my lackadaisical attitude I now face the second problem…

2. Those stairs are really long and they just feel more difficult to climb. I don’t know anything about stair measurements but I am sure that those escalator steps are a lot wider and longer. The natural stride you can achieve jogging up a normal stairwell is unattainable on those metal planks. Plus, is it just me or is it a little scary to think about the stairs starting back up while you’re on them? Not dangerous, but startling maybe? Either way, I feel a little anxiety anticipating it while ascending.

Then I get to the top and the stores I had dreamed would have the perfect dress have a shoddy selection. This leaves me feeling slothful because of my original irresponsible choice and disappointed because the lesson wasn’t even worth it in the end. An escalator really only has one thing it needs to do; if it fails at that, what else does it have?