A Few of The Scariest Things

My dog Piper is like a real live pet muppet: furry, sweet, big eyes and goofy tendencies.

She is also a fearful little bugger and I’m not sure why. I got her as a puppy, raised her with love, trained her, challenged her on countless hikes and socialized her. A few years ago when I was sick with cancer she was by my side snuggling me on the couch and keeping me company in the tougher moments. I watched her become protective, as though she knew I was weak and that slowly turned her into a total wuss. This was never my intention, I don’t want her to be so afraid, but I suppose some of the things she is scared of are pretty terrifying.

Orange Road Cones- They have that scary reflective tape on them sometimes too, making them extra evil. Plus, that pointed top could be a spike that kills dogs.

Umbrellas- One second they are slim and flat and then BOOM like a giant lizard opening its flaps it’s huge! Screw staying dry on a rainy walk, we will take our chances with rain over that sucker.

People with Hoods Up- Dammit… my dog is Zimmerman.

Leaves in the Wind- What if a tiny poisonous creature is using those leaves as cover to get close to us? Piper isn’t taking any chances on that front.

Pooter the Cat- As previously mentioned, he is a terrorist and we all fear him. Pooter used to paw at Piper but has since learned to condition her to cower when he just sits and looks at her.

My Neighbors Passing By- Yeah, but have you heard about them?! Plus, all you can see under the door is shadows so it could be a serial killer.

My friend Lisa- Definite serial killer.

The Printer/Copier/Scanner- The tiny poisonous creatures make their weapons in there and spit out ominous flat sheets of white.

Pumpkins/Jack O’Lanterns- They have faces! Plus they are orange, the most dangerous color.

Anything in the Dark (moving OR stationary)- COULD BE A SERIAL KILLER STANDING SO STILL!

Everything- You can never be too careful.