The Komen Flop

It all makes perfect sense, stop funding for breast exams because the same people giving the exams are also performing abortions. If we punish the people at Planned Parenthood for their crazy liberal practices we will save the lives of thousands of unborn babies. Who really gives a hoot if thousands of  women go undiagnosed and die from cancer, they’ve lived long enough right? Let’s focus our energy on the fetus’ that don’t exist yet, they have more promise.

Don’t even get me started on birth control, those hooligans at Planned Parenthood give it out willy-nilly and now the youth of America is going to run out and have promiscuous sex. If we stop giving them access to safe sex they are mature enough by 14 or 15 to know not to have it at all; when I was that age I know I didn’t do anything that wasn’t safe… Also, no more free condoms, once the boys get them in their hands they lose complete control of their impulses and become like ravenous dogs just running around looking for a way to abuse their new-found protection.

I’m sorry, I’m putting sarcasm aside because I suddenly became terrified that someone less astute would read this and think I was serious.

Really though, do the men who are against birth control just abstain from sex unless they are intending to reproduce? I don’t buy it. If that is what they are doing, I want to protest that. It seems like a hazard, having irritable, unsatisfied people going about their day and bringing everyone else down; I for one would be incredibly bitchy…

I’m relieved that the Komen Foundation reversed their decision to stop funding, and I’m glad that all it took was 26 senators and millions of protestors. They must be pooing in their pants over at headquarters though, no easy way out of this pickle; the PR workers for Komen should probably be put on suicide watch just to be safe. The damage to their reputation is done, they played all their cards and now we know where their political and religious loyalties lie. Several figurehead Repulicans came out today calling the change in plans “hollow and weak”… alright, I can play this game. I don’t agree with Komen’s politics so I think it would only make sense to tell anyone giving them money that if they don’t like the financial decision they made they should stop supporting everything else they do. If Planned Parenthood provides contraceptives and abortions, no more money for breast exams and if the Komen Foundation backs the pro lifers, no more cure for cancer.

It is time to face the hard truth that vindictiveness and ego are more important than anything. An eye for an eye leaves the whole world satisfied…